It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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