all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
