I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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