i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
