I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
