Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
