goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize