I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
