just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
