You surviving the open bar?
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Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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