butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
