I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize