I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
