She's JV to your varsity
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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