Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
