We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize