Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
