and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
