Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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