Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
