If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
