I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
