we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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