if i can run in heels then i can drive
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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