I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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