How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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