hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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