is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize