So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
