so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
where are you?
Hypothermia
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
