After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
