Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize