I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
