Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let's get the cat blown out
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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