3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
