I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
