I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
