I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
