GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
