I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize