So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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