ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
