suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
