I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i black out too much to be "responsible"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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