And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
