He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
