Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
