There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
