Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
should my penis look like a turkey
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
