she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
