after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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