You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
