sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
