planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
