Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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