There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
