Define "chronic" masturbator.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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