Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
