you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
