I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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