i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
